What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
