Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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