I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
