I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Come on in and take your pants off
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
