k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
