I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
