I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
