a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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