never play flip cup with pint glasses
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
