you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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