would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
