Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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