I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
