and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you win again, gameday.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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