Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
