He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
