Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So much Jack, so little girl.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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