theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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