Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
