There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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