i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
