So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
