Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm jealous of your bromance
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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