yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
