all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
