If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
