just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
