I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
