Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
