Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
