yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
