Pappa wants mamma naked
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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