i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
