Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
where are you?
Hypothermia
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
