dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
