Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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