You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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