mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
