We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
