i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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