Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
