Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
