Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
