my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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