haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
