Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
