Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
