Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize