Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
