I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
