i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
