I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
