I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
