i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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