I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
