Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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