I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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