these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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