That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
